Two people in one

 I feel like I’m two people, Jenn Ochs and the wheelchair girl. I say this because in my dreams and visions, I’m always walking but in reality I’m in a wheelchair.

I live in downtown Boulder, Colorado and I’m out a lot. I’m always riding the bus or cruising in my power chair. Since becoming a wheelchair user, I have learned that everyone remembers a person in a wheelchair. 

Boulder is a very outdoorsy place. There are always people out riding bikes or walking. I go out a few times a week pretty consistently. I imagine that neighbors and regulars are quite used to seeing the wheelchair girl out and about. Plus, I’m very fashion conscious, always wear a hat and I love wearing jewelry. I don’t think I’m what people expect when they think of a wheelchair user. I think that is changing as I love seeing wheelchair users out and about independently.

The fact that I live alone often surprises people. I hope that becomes more common as more people with disabilities realize that they can live independently.

I will also say that dating as a wheelchair user has been difficult for me. While people tend to always remember a wheelchair they also kind of ignore people in a wheelchair. At first people rush to “help” me but once they make their conscious feel good they seem to forget that I exist. I say “help” because most often people trying to help actually make things more difficult.

Before becoming a wheelchair user, my tall and slender figure often garnered attention. Now, people just see my wheelchair. It was hard for me to get used to the fact that I no longer caught people’s attention by walking into a room. 

I tried online dating but eventually gave up. Once again, my wheelchair seemed to scare people away. Then there’s the fact that I can’t swallow. Going out to eat or meeting for coffee doesn’t really work for me. I have given up trying to find love. Now I focus on loving myself. I have learned that is really more important.